As I said in my last post, my hubby has a daughter. She's 14. This has been pretty much a secret until very recently. He didn't want people to know about it, as he had never had a relationship with her. Her mum took her abroad, and remarried when she was a baby, and he was pretty bitter about the whole thing when I met him and he finally told me. Since then, we've talked a good number of times, and recently she got in touch with G's parents. This weekend he met her for the first time, and it seemed to go well for them. I was pretty worried the whole time he was out.
We'd agreed that they would get to know each other alone before introducing me, and that he should take his time, but that he should tell her about me straight away as part of his life. I was pretty upset then to find that he had taken her to his sisters, with his cousins being there too.The time was supposed to be for them, and if anyone was to be introduced, I think it should have been me, after all, I will be the one who will be more involved in her life. I was even more upset to find out that he hadn't told her that we were married, just let her believe that we were just living together. He says that he told her lovely things about me but that he didn't want to shock her too much on the first meeting. I'm just so upset though... partly because he now has lied to her, partly because he has lied about me, making our relationship a secret. She apparently asked to come live with him, which just breaks my heart straight away, that she is so unhappy with her mum that she would do that immediately, and the difficult position it puts us in. At first he told me that he said he'd have to talk to me, which just puts me in a wonderful position as being the one who said no, although since he has said that he told her it was too soon for that. You can imagine the day I've had today with him. We've barely talked, when we have, it's been to argue and for me to cry.
I know I am being selfish. I can't help it. I want kids... anyone who reads this would know how much I do. But this girl is 14, never known her dad, and now wants to be a huge part of his life. I'm scared that my new marriage is going to be tested more that I could have imagined possible. It's pretty hard dealing with this at the same time as desparately wanting a baby that I just can't have. Yes I knew she existed before I married him, but she wasn't real, not part of his life, and whilst I support him being part of her life the reality is very hard to deal with.
Ow. That's an extraordinarily difficult position to be in. I'd be just as upset. He could have handled it a lot better.
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