Weigh in Number Two!!

Yep weigh in was yesterday, and lost another 3.25lbs! This was pretty good, as I had a blip in the week, and ate a ham wrap! Slap my hands!! I really was gut wrentchingly hungry, and very pissed off, and after pacing up and down the house not knowing what to do with myself, I made a ham and cucumber tortilla wrap and ate the dreaded carbs!

So yeah 3.25 isnt bad given I broke the diet. The funny thing is, within an hour after it, I was back on it 100%. The thing is the wrap didnt actually make me feel not hungry... I probably could have eaten about ten before I was stuffed! I also felt abit sick, but maybe thats the transition back to food.

So today is day 15, start of the third week, and am all prepared for the next two weeks...this is because friday we are off to the bungalow in Herne Bay again, and it's gonna be a killer to stick on it there, with the kids, and where we usually have cooked brekkies, and lovely ham rolls sitting in the garden or on the beach, and out for dinner lots! But sadly this time, that's not going to be happening. Mum and Dad have decided not to do cook breakfasts and also not to go out to restaurants so they are trying hard to help me. I feel really mean, but the smell of bacon and eggs would drive me insane!!!

So the work crap continues... and I may or not be out of a job before I go on holiday... to be honest I'll be glad to get rid of them... it's just the money that is hard, not knowing how we will cope without it at the mo, until I get a new job. Applied for a ton of them, and have an interview on Wednesday, yes while I am on holiday... but I cant be fussy and they couldn't change the date, so I am coming back to London for the interview and then back to Kent again, with my good ole Dad! Have spent all day today preparing a presentation for the interview! Jeez they all want blood!!

xxxxx

Charts Galore!!

Well Day 9 done and dusted! This non eating malarky is much harder than you'd think! Yeah yeah people tell me that ketosis stops you from feeling hungry... but my tummy is still rumbling away at various points of the day, so that can't be just emotional hunger! Nonetheless, I have still managed to stick to the diet 100% for these 9 days, and tonight after a trip to the supermarket, accompanied unusually by the husband (as we were buying only things for him to eat!) I have made CHARTS!!! So much excitement over a little chart or two! 

One shows the weight lost, and I get to colour pre pound or section of a pound lost... the other chart shows how many days I have stuck to the programme. I may have been abit adventurous having the weight loss chart going up to 10 stone, and the days up to 10 weeks, but hey gotta aim big right??? 

First Weigh in Results!

Back from my first weigh in, and have lost... drum roll please.... 10.25lbs!  For you US girls, there are 14 lbs in a stone, so it's about three quarters of a stone! Not bad eh! 

Slightly disappointed I didnt get the whole stone, but I'm just being impatient I think! 

Onwards and upwards! I have now reached the next stone level which is psychologically better too eh!! 

On other news, it has been confirmed that I have been approved for bypass surgery and am looking at a slot between 19th November and 17th December, according to their current waiting times. This gives me 4-5 months to get some more weight off, and decide that I can go the full way on my own! 

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Thanks

I was incredibly touched to read the comments that some ladies made on my last post. I feel very much that I want to express my thanks to them and to others for making me feel so much a part of the blogging world. I feel that these women who share their lives with me, and me with them, are friends. Yes friends I don't know in the common sense, but we are people who share our thoughts and fears, wishes and dreams. I have shed tears of joy for some of you at the arrival of your children, and can feel your pain at waiting. I'm not at that stage yet in my life, but I hope that when my husband and I are at the stage of having children whichever way it happens, you will be there cheering us on!

Today's update is that a letter has arrived from the hospital saying I am on the waiting list. I think this must mean that I am officially approved for surgery, although it's not clear, so am waiting for this to be clarified. This doesn't change anything for me right now. I am continuing to try and lose weight in the hope that I will be successful before the date comes when I need to choose.  I'm hoping this will push me further.

Thanks so much once again for your support. Off for a bike ride tonight with Mum!

xxxxxxx

Massive Mountain to Climb!

It's been a while since I updated my blog on what's been happening surgery wise re my weight!

Had a round of 4 appointments with consultants, dietician, psychologist, and surgeon, which were all pretty positive until the last one with the surgeon, who seemed pretty unprepared to discuss things with me, and then fairly negative. It seems according to him, I don't eat big enough meals in one go, or snack enough for the operation to make any effect. Hmmm... he's a new surgeon to my hospital... having come from a highly regarded weight loss surgery clinic, but honestly felt he hadn't bothered to read any of the notes on me, including lists of food I eat, and my food diaries. Funnily enough he didnt have them there in the file... After all the negativity he went on to tell me that he would recommend bypass surgery rather than banding for me... although still wasnt clear whether or not he would be recommending it for me to the board who make the decision. This board is made up of him and surgeons at another hospital, and the other people I had already met. I was told it would be several weeks before I heard their decision.

I left feeling very sad and down. Mum was with me, and chose to give me a good talking to at this time, as I drove home. It wasn't good timing. I came home, went to bed by 8pm, up and was sick, and then slept badly the whole night.

Afterwards though, I started thinking about whether or not I really want this surgery. It would change my whole life... yes the positive way of losing alot of weight in a short space of time. But the negatives are massive too. Irreversable surgery leading to teeny tiny portions of food... liquid for weeks, followed by mush, then tiny chunks portions smaller than the barrel of a slighly above average pen! No tomatoes or cucumber with skins on!!!! No pineapple, no brocolli stems, no fatty or sugary foods, no rice, no bread!!! No pasta... hmmm I hear you saying what do you eat? Well not alot it seems... Everyone is different and I know people who can tolerate pasta... its a gamble though.

So many this was the kick up the butt I needed. Do I really want to give up ice cream, bread and cherry tomatoes.. weirdly some of my favourite things!!! Would maybe a year of giving up food in general be better than a lifetime without my favourite things???

Well I've made a start. I'm doing the Cambridge Weight Plan. It's drastic. It's 3-4 soups or shakes a day, all made by the Cambridge people.. sachets that you mix up, and litres of water! Thats it! It's very hard but I have officially now just completed day 5. The Cambridge bods say that you should lose about a stone a month... its a fast way of shedding the stones.. and boy do I have a lot to lose! A good 10 stone! It's an enoromous mountain to climb... and I have stuck to these first five days 100%. It's been hell... I have cried a few times, felt starving and sick, not liked the shakes, but it's getting better, they taste better, and my appetitite has diminished... not 100% but virtually gone. It's more the emotional need for food that makes me keep thinking about it.

Anyway enough for one post for sure... Weight in is Tuesday evening. I'm taking every day as it comes at the moment.

xxx

My birthday!

Sunday was my gulp 35th birthday- red hot garden party at mum and dads
with family and hubby. Amelie Kate is taking refuge in the house to
cool off with her dad( my brother hence hairy legs) Isnt she just
beautiful?? Scarlett as usual doesn't sit still long enough for pics!
Spoilt, lovely pressies including weekend away with parents around
Christmas time to see lights in Norfolk! Lots to tell but not typing
on iPhone like this!!! Be back soon xxxx