Six months today....

 It's unbelievable to me that six months ago today G and I were married. In some respects it only seems like yesterday... on the other hand so much has happened in the last six months that I feel we have been married for years.

 Despite having previously had a wedding blog in the run up to the wedding, I never actually posted any official photos. So here we go, to celebrate 6 very happy months of marriage to my wonderful husband... hands off girls.. I know he is dishy but he's all mine! hehehe!    My necklace was Butler and Wilson and I bought it before we'd even set the date or considered the dress!

Our photographer David was amazing. He came to my Nan's house before the wedding to capture the story telling shots I wanted, pictures of my dress and shoes and perfume etc so I would always remember the details that I worked so hard to create.

Our florist was wonderful too. A local lady who didnt mind the cutout mag pics I gave her of what not to do as well as what I wanted! The butterflies in the bouquet are the same ones I used to decorate the centrepieces with.

My Nan's house was a vital part of getting ready! My Mum had got ready at the same house on her wedding day and for me that traditional element meant so much. G and I married in the same church as my parents, nearly 37 years to the day later! Kind of special eh.

David dashed off to the pub shortly afterwards giving me time to get dressed and him time to get some cracking shots pre wedding of G with pre wedding guests! This one is of my sister in law, godmother and the best man! Looks like they had a brilliant time. I loved looking at the photos afterwards as it gave me an opportunity to see bits of the day I wasnt there for.

Matt and Scarlett were our pageboy and bridesmaid and did a sterling job! Matt took the responsibility very seriously and enjoyed being part of the "organising team" in his words, hehehe! He was so helpful setting up the bar and telling the caterers were I wanted things on the morning of the wedding whilst I was busy getting ready with hairdresser and makeup artists. Scarlett was much more interested in just following Matt around.

After a false start (caused by G's family being 40 minutes late to the wedding) it was finally time to start the ceremony! I got out of the car, all flustered cos poor G had been waiting for at least an hour and half in the church to get started, and managed to rip my wrap which was attached to my dress!! The panic! One of the church ladies dashed to the rectory to get a pin for me! And the Vicar did a short prayer with me before entering the church to try and calm me down! It all starts now!!!

Dad and I walked down the very tight aisle trying hard not to get there too quickly or too slow. Songbird by Eva Cassidy played. It was surreal, walking past people I knew (and some I didn't) looking but not really seeing them. I looked forward and saw G looking at me, then moving forward to the Vicar. I looked to the side front and saw my mum crying. I looked at my Dad, and this photo is that moment... that split second. I cried the whole way while beaming!

This photo is so special to me because it was taken while G was saying his vows to me. Despite worrying about getting them right, he said them perfectly, while holding my hands and looking into my eyes. I welled up once again. And then cried all through mine. Someone at the back laughed, thinking I was laughing. It was the most precious moment of the day to me.

One of the few photos that I had requested was a picture of my Mum throughout the service. I knew her emotions would be on show so I wanted this badly. There are a few fantastic pictures of her. I also love this one of my parents singing together in church. I love the way that mum holds dad's arm.

There are a whole series of shots of us leaving the church. I love them all. You can see the joy, the excitement, and the relief on our faces! The hard bit was done... now it was time to party!!!

G loves this photo. I do too. His mum looks so happy for us.

Our car was beautiful but so warm! Not that we were complaining with the lovely sunny day we had! There were so many people standing just watching us and we were saying just go, we needed them to be at the venue ready for all the main pics!! How handsome does my hubby look!!!

Yeah we were caught smooching.... we werent posing...these next two are natural!!

This is probably our favourite shot of the day. We have this blown up very big on a canvas in black and white in our bedroom. Every day I wake up looking at it, and G often refers to how brilliant it was and how he remembers the moment.

I made everything that we had at the wedding....all the place cards, the menus, the centrepiece birdcages, the invites, the tableplan, goodness I am sure there were more things!!

Of course I didnt make them from scratch but I did decorate them completely my design and by hand! It took me a whole day to do the centrepieces alone and my living room and I were both smothered in glitter after it!

My brother made our Wedding cake which was simply beautiful! He made his own some years before, and I always wanted him to do it so I was thrilled when he agreed. A friend of my mum's made "us" to sit on top of the cake... we gave her pics of me in my dress when I found it,  G in his suit and my hair as it is when I go out! This pic doesn't do the cake justice!

The silver charms on the cake were special too, and were my something borrowed! They were from my parents wedding cake. How much more special can you get!!!

My beautiful boy... Matt my nephew and the apple of my eye. He really did enjoy the day and it wouldnt have been the same without him there.

My Dad's speech was the first of the speeches and definitely set the bar. He had been practising religiously and even in the middle of the night according to Mum. He had me laughing and crying. My Nan too. I was choked beyond belief.

When it came to G's speech, he was scared stiff. We'd decided to do this jointly because me being bossy kind I knew that the thanks needed to my parents, and friends, well I knew I'd only be happy using my own words. G spoke first and used the immortal phase "My wife and I would like to thank you all for coming today" and there was a burst of clapping and cheering. I cried throughout our whole speech. I sobbed telling my parents and friends what they meant to me, and how lucky I was to have them help us and influence our lives. Then to G, I told him what he meant to me, and he in turn said the nicest things ever to me too.

G's best man, and cousin did a fantastic speech...funny and thoughtful, far better than we could have ever imagined. He talked with warmth and real feeling for G and I know it meant the world to G, well both of us.

Next surprisingly, my two brothers stood up, and announced they couldn't let the occasion go without dishing some dirt on me. Well sure they did this, but they also made me a very proud sister. One line I will always remember, they told G that "in my sister you have got a smart sassy women who is everyone's friend, and nobodies fool." I sat the next morning in the bathroom at our very swish hotel, and remembered that line and cried my eyes out. This picture is G listening to their speech, in only the way G can.... love him.

My mum was responsible for collecting together these pictures and making massive collages of us growing up! It was amazing for our guests to see these glimpses of our lives before and with each other! And for us too! Lots of our guests were in them too! It was all a secret and we didnt know they would be there!! But they looked amazing!

So that's it... a snapshot of our amazing photos... we have over a 1000 so it was dead hard cutting them down! Our day was amazing! We couldnt have asked for anymore. It was a dream come true!

Gilmore Girls Marathon

Felt marginally better today, and moved to the sofa to watch Gilmore Girls reruns which I sky+ed ages ago!

Watched the all the series last year for the first time, but I just love them. They are so funny and touching, and they feel like home. Strange thing to say given it's an american series but it just appeals to me so much. The quirky characters, the small close knit town, the way the seasons are celebrated, it all seems like those are the bits of America that I would like the most. Even the name of the town.. Stars Hollow, well it just makes you want to go there, to take part in the knitathon and all the other weird things that go on! Watching it turn from Autumn to Winter today, Pumpkins to Christmas trees, laying on the sofa in front of a warm fire, I got that tingling feeling.

Of course I know in my head it can't be like this really, there can't be such a warm wonderful small town place where everyone knows everyone, where decisions are made by town meetings, where you never want to leave.... but my heart, my heart wants it to be real, and wants to move there soon.

Sick as a dog v Move on over Whitney!

Spent the last three days in bed now with the worst cold. Despite this, I have managed to get up for X factor latest (to all you Americans out there it's our version of Idol with Simon Cowell) and to share my own commentary of the best and the worst perfomances on facebook. My comments were wholly agreed with amongst my peers and in particular my one comment listed below seems to have even strangers agreeing and nodding their heads!

Dermott: What do you think of the contestants Whitney?
Whitney: Err Erm Err how can i say this? They are young and they need to practise lots..... (IE I THINK THEY ARE SHITE DERMOTT)

She can bloody talk with her too long dress, her straps undone and barely any bloody singing, and when she did she was all out of breath!!

Phew feel so much better now I've said that!!

Whitney Houston performed, big deal for the show, given it was her first live performance in yonks! Truth was though that she barely sang, just joining in with the backing singers and backing track, and she looked high on something! This woman clearly believes her own hype and she should be worried.... X Factor is producing some new and better divas.. female and male... move on over Whitney!

Christmas starts here!!!

You won't believe it but yes I have made a huge start in my Christmas shopping!! Yes I am that organised. I think this year may be the first year in maybe 10 years that I havent made my own cards though. I just can't come up with any inspiration right now for them. Probably made a rod for my own back though as people always expect them now! Might change my mind if I can think of something good to do!!

Back to the shopping. Found a couple of really good pressies so far so definitely getting there. Mum and Dad asked me to find out about Dolls Houses for my niece. Found a fantastic website and oh my god I want one! Seriously.. I mean it I want one. Hers will be from the junior range, but I want one of the collectors. You buy them as kits and put them together and paint/decorate them and then furnish etc. Well you can buy them already built but it would cost the deposit on a real house (not really but a fair amount) and probably does away with lots of the fun! I ordered a catalogue and spent hours last night pouring over it. The trouble is choosing the one I would like. Some people it seems have many according to their website. I can see how it could become addictive but it's a costly hobby! Anyway this doesnt put me off. G even seems to think it's pretty cool. And we have got room upstairs to "house" one if you pardon the pun!

Well we will see.... couldnt afford it this side of Crimbo but maybe I will draw up a wish list on site! Check it out!

http://www.dollshouse.com/

Exciting and Disappointing all in one.

Woke up today to receive the letter from our doctors referring us on to a Sub Fertility Clinic. Was able to go online and make the appointment myself to meet with them at the end of November. G and I both have to go along . Exciting. 

Made the decision to call one of the London Boroughs that I have been looking at online, to discuss the adoption process and get some ideas.  Enquired about how my weight would affect our chances and the response was fairly positive. That it may effect the outcome, that it would be determined by a medical, if everything else was okay it may be good. Very exciting as I don't have any other medical problems other than my PCOS. Went through some of our history with the social worker on the call, where we live, number of spare bedrooms, the fact we have only been married nearly 6 months and together nearly 2 and half years, all fairly positive. The fact that G is of caribean descent, and myself white british, and her reaction was "you would be most sought after!!" Yippee Bingo!!! Ding Ding Ding!!! Jackpot!!! Discussed why we are enquiring now.. told her we are in process of giving this serious thought and taking time to do this, told her my PCOS has always made me think it wouldnt naturally happen for us, that I have always wanted to adopt etc. She asked me if we had finished with any appointments or attempts and told her truthfully that we have just been referred. She told me that we must wait a year until we could apply from the time that we give up medically trying. Disappointed is an understatement. I've never really thought I could naturally get pregnant, but felt that we had to at least speak to someone in the fertility sector to see what they said. The fact that we have even looked into it means that we have to wait a year! A whole year before we even apply.... then the year plus to adopt.. it's looking further and further away. 

Now I just feel like it's so far away and unreachable for us to have our family. G is 37, I'm 34. It seems unfair that even speaking with someone puts us about our chances naturally puts us in that grouping of not being ready to adopt, when the reality is that I more or less gave up hope a long time ago, and I don't view adoption as a second choice. 

From China With Love

I was recently recomended a book by a fellow Blogger. The book "From China With Love" by Emily Buchanan is the story of an English couple and their adoption journeys for their two beautiful daughters Jade and Rose.

It's an amazing book. I devoured it, and wanted more. The early parts of the book deal with infertility issues, and how once they made the decision to adopt, the process works. It talks in great detail about the questioning they endured as part of their home visits and is sometimes critical of the system. Emily is a journalist for the BBC and her views on international adoption have been bourne out of much travel and personal experiences. She definitely gave me food for thought.

I read so many people's blogs about their adoptions. Mostly from China. Mostly American families. It was lovely to read a story about an English couple and what they faced, because that is after all, what we will face should we go down that route.

Hendrix Lives!

Well it was ages ago now, but figured that it's about time I posted the only pic I have of the event so far, seeing as my brother has been very poor at sending me the rest of the (better quality) photos of the night.

The night in question was my Dad's Surprise 60th Fancy Dress party. G obviously is Mr Hendrix... complete with air filled inflatable guitar not shown, I was the blonde one from Abba, complete with white spangly outfit and big blonde wig!

My Dad was given his costume just before he left home, and he apparently still thought he was coming to my house for a birthday dinner! He was Henry VIII. Mum was Anne Boleyn, before the head incident!!

Special mention must go out to Andyroo who came as the Incredible Hulk, covered head to toes in green body paint, ripped shorts and not much else!!! He looked amazing and we were all a little green by the end of the night!

More pics to follow if James (one of the Ugly Sisters) ever gets his act in gear and sends them to me!!!

My Wonderful Husband

This week has been such a busy one so far. With one car between the two of us, while we still attempt to sort out a new car, and getting the rest of our money from the insurance company, we are spending time going back and forward more than normal.

I've been reading more and more about adoption and trying to maintain some calm at what I read. My weight seems to be the main issue in all of this and I am trying to maintain a very healthy diet while not panicing. That said, I read this week about the lengthly questioning that couples go through as part of the process. It seems to be much more indepth than I had previously thought. Whilst I feel confident about my ability to answer calmly any questions posed to me, I started worrying about G and how he would fare under pressure. Not that we have reached a decision yet on this but G has never really blossomed in the kind of environment where he feels under scruntiny.

We discussed it in bed one night this week. I laid it on thick about the questions they may ask, the time that it may take, and the stress he may feel. I was sad at the thought of another hurdle, but pleased after a discussion in the car earlier where he had said how much he was considering it. When asked that night,  if he could do it, put up with the questioning, remain calm, not feel like it was prying and too much, he simply replied "I'll do anything I have to, to make you happy."

Tears fell like rain.

Doctors Appointment Tuesday; the first of many

Following my waxing lyrical about the joys of married life, sunday night was time for a good yelling at each other, which carried over into Tuesday morning. Of course this was the day of The doctors appointment!

As it happened, going in stroppy with each other worked just fine. Our doctor, Rebecca, was so sweet, and very understanding. She totally got where we were coming for, and decided that not only should G get some tests on the boys... but I should get all my blood tests and swobs down now as a priority to start the ball rolling correctly.

We talked weight and I got upset. No surprises there, but she didn't lecture about obesity, she just told me that some small changes and loss would make the world of difference. I came out of there feeling like it was much more achievable. And we came out of there talking to each other again and able to sort out our row.

The lead time on an appointment at the Fertility Clinic is 8-12 weeks so it's not likely to be this year that we actually get referred. She told us to keep trying, and wait for that appointment.

On a similar note, as G's hire car is no longer available, I collected him from work last night and tonight. This actually gives us chatting time that we don't normally have and is kinda nice, a bit like the old days. Tonight G just announced unprompted that he is moving more towards adoption if this doesnt work out for us naturally. I'm really happy to hear that, because the idea is more and more appealing to me.