Difficult Times

Been a tough week. I've talked previously about the fertility appointment and tests we have been undergoing. After a poor result on G's test, we repeated it last week much to his utter disgust. He really doesn't enjoy having to do that sort of thing, unless it's for funs sake!

We got a call on Thursday from the doctors surgery to tell us to repeat the test again. When we questioned this, eventually a doctor called and very shadily asked us to come in and discuss the matter. I consequently spent the rest of the day in tears. We rushed in the next morning as soon as they opened to be told that neither of our tests have come back with a good result. I am not ovaluatiing, and his mobility and count is low. Additionally we were then told that as my hubby has a daughter from a previous relationship, that we wouldnt qualify for IVF treatment.  We still have our appointment next Friday with the fertility clinic but it's really not looking good.

I never thought that we would be able to conceive.... I've always said it, but the tests over the last few weeks and months have almost tricked me into thinking it might be. I just can't think positively for that reason, but mum says she will think positively for me.

I'm just heartbroken that we have to wait a year from the time that we stop trying until we can start adoption proceedings. For me, adoption seems to be the clear way forward, but the waiting to even start the process just seems so much.