It's been a while since I updated my blog on what's been happening surgery wise re my weight!
Had a round of 4 appointments with consultants, dietician, psychologist, and surgeon, which were all pretty positive until the last one with the surgeon, who seemed pretty unprepared to discuss things with me, and then fairly negative. It seems according to him, I don't eat big enough meals in one go, or snack enough for the operation to make any effect. Hmmm... he's a new surgeon to my hospital... having come from a highly regarded weight loss surgery clinic, but honestly felt he hadn't bothered to read any of the notes on me, including lists of food I eat, and my food diaries. Funnily enough he didnt have them there in the file... After all the negativity he went on to tell me that he would recommend bypass surgery rather than banding for me... although still wasnt clear whether or not he would be recommending it for me to the board who make the decision. This board is made up of him and surgeons at another hospital, and the other people I had already met. I was told it would be several weeks before I heard their decision.
I left feeling very sad and down. Mum was with me, and chose to give me a good talking to at this time, as I drove home. It wasn't good timing. I came home, went to bed by 8pm, up and was sick, and then slept badly the whole night.
Afterwards though, I started thinking about whether or not I really want this surgery. It would change my whole life... yes the positive way of losing alot of weight in a short space of time. But the negatives are massive too. Irreversable surgery leading to teeny tiny portions of food... liquid for weeks, followed by mush, then tiny chunks portions smaller than the barrel of a slighly above average pen! No tomatoes or cucumber with skins on!!!! No pineapple, no brocolli stems, no fatty or sugary foods, no rice, no bread!!! No pasta... hmmm I hear you saying what do you eat? Well not alot it seems... Everyone is different and I know people who can tolerate pasta... its a gamble though.
So many this was the kick up the butt I needed. Do I really want to give up ice cream, bread and cherry tomatoes.. weirdly some of my favourite things!!! Would maybe a year of giving up food in general be better than a lifetime without my favourite things???
Well I've made a start. I'm doing the Cambridge Weight Plan. It's drastic. It's 3-4 soups or shakes a day, all made by the Cambridge people.. sachets that you mix up, and litres of water! Thats it! It's very hard but I have officially now just completed day 5. The Cambridge bods say that you should lose about a stone a month... its a fast way of shedding the stones.. and boy do I have a lot to lose! A good 10 stone! It's an enoromous mountain to climb... and I have stuck to these first five days 100%. It's been hell... I have cried a few times, felt starving and sick, not liked the shakes, but it's getting better, they taste better, and my appetitite has diminished... not 100% but virtually gone. It's more the emotional need for food that makes me keep thinking about it.
Anyway enough for one post for sure... Weight in is Tuesday evening. I'm taking every day as it comes at the moment.
xxx
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I have a friend that has had the band and it is almost like forced bulimia and sometimes she goes for days without keeping anything down. I am sure it is not that way for everyone but it is a lot to consider and a huge commitment.
ReplyDeleteI am really hoping for you to have success with your new plan, I know how hard losing weight is. Good luck & Take Care.
I relate so much to your struggle. I don't know an awful lot about the surgery options, it seems as if they are very successful for lots of people but its such a big step to take. I have it there in the back of my mind but I'm soooooo nervous to have any kind of surgery that its very much a last resort for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm still sort of inching my way forward to making a real commitment to trying to lose weight. I honestly haven't done anything yet, which I know must seem nuts but its like I'm trying to gear up and give myself the best chance of success. Like you I have a really big, very daunting amount to loose and that in itself can make it all feel impossible before I even start! I'm trying to reframe it in my mind and think in terms of if I lose a pound a week then in a year I would be 52 lbs lighter and although I'd still have a long, long way to go how fantastic it would feel "just" to be 50 lbs lighter. Plus when you get to my age the years whizz by so a year feels like a blink of an eye these days!
I don't know anything about the cambridge diet (well I've heard of it, I think its been around for a long time) I'm thinking that maybe it could be a good spring board?
Sigh - its such a complicated thing isn't it, this weight loss struggle. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you that Tuesday's weight in gives you a boost.
xxx
I don't want to influence your decision, but the surgery has always scared me. Especially when I did a little research into the details. As difficult as the Cambridge diet is, it sounds a whole lot better than the diet you'd be on after bypass surgery. I hope you get some good results with your current diet. Because if the surgeon turns out to be right and surgery doesn't end up helping you much... eep.
ReplyDeleteI wish I were closer so I could cheer you on. Even though we hardly know each other, hehe.
I am really touched by the honest and heartfelt comments here... Thanks so much ladies for being there for me. It means the world. xxxxxxxxxxx
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