I'm not gone I promise!!

I'm still here, and still reading everyone's blogs and loving them, just not been posting for a while. Not so much that I have meant to not post, more than I didnt know what to say. 

Firstly, looked after beautiful Ame last Sunday and just had to share a couple of pics! She can sit up now, and she was so happy the whole time she was over! We didnt even have time to go for a walk, because after bottles, and lunch, and bum changes and playing, and sleeping for an incredibly long time, it was time to go home!!! 

Okay onto other things. Work is bad. Very bad. The kind of bad you dread. I'm not sure entirely how this will now pan out, but I am pretty certain any day now I will be unemployed. I can't go into details and its too painful too really. It's my fault for being naive and trusting, but it's a bitter pill to swallow. I've applied for 6 other jobs, been turned down without interview for 5, and am trying not to get disheartened. This may be because, after working for a Trade Union for 8 years, who wants to employ you, or it could be that really my skills set is so specific to Trade Union work now, that I just don't fulfil the criteria enough to be given a chance to prove myself. 

Anyway, enough dwelling on the troubles... believe me I have... my husband put it in perspective for me yesterday, telling me he doesnt care if we lose the house, can't pay the bills, don't have anything, as long as I'm still here. I cried. You can imagine. 

This week, I have my first hospital appointment about my weight. This, as you know if you have read me before, is a constant source of problems for me. We row about it, G and I, and my mum and I... all the time. They tell me I must do it, I agree, they tell me how to do it, I agree, then I don't do it. I just can't force myself to exercise. I know I can't have babies if I don't do it, I get sad, I eat... you see how this goes... Well this week my appointment is entitled Bariatric Surgery Pre Assessment.... what this means I do not know. It's to do with possible weight loss surgery, and it's an hour appointment, but not sure what I will be told. I assume I will qualify... due to my size, but I am expecting to be told the wait for surgery is very very long. Maybe it will kick me up the arse. Maybe I will use my unemployed time to do something rather than sit on the sofa all day sad... maybe not.